I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
