Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
