dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
