i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
