tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
