gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
