Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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