haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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