hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
even my farts smell like vagina
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
