I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
that's an acceptable place to lick
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
