He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
