Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
