haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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