why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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