Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
