one two three fourrrrnication!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize