i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
