I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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