I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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