so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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