I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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