I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
