well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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