As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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