You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
