i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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