Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
