butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
handjob tips. give me some.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
