Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
