so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
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He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
My ass is underappreciated
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he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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