I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
