She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
