Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
