You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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