Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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