was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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