Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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