just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
