How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
