so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
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Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
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Of course I have a pirate flag
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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