I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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