id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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