are you so shy because you have an std?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
