dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
this boner is exhausting
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
