she was so not down for the gang bang
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize