and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
