Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Bring me that man meat
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
