babies were throwing up all over the place
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
