where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
