Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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