the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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