I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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