she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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