If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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