Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
