addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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