The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
