Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize