one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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