come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
