you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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