She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
